Absolutely Lovely

Today was fantastic, and it's only about 3 pm! We had to leave early that we left (9 or 10 am!), due to the apartment being sprayed. Grandma said we were going to mom's at first, but we ended up at breakfast with her friend from work since they basically spent a whole week or two apart. It was kind of funny, especially when the food came out. They gawked at my plate and grandma acted as the peanut gallery, but I just ate. Breakfast ended nicely though, and we went to the friend's to get a bird out of her cherry tree (she put a net around it) and even got some cherries ♥. They're bloody delicious. And she has such a perfect house and in such a perfect neighborhood. Grandma is always talking about houses, well, I see where we should look!

Afterwards, we went to the store next (-next) door that they like and we even got her brother's birthday gifts bought and mailed at the UPS next door (courtesy Elaine's great idea/insight). After which we joined her friend at Bel-Air and then the movie invite popped up. I am indeed eager to see Mr. Quinto again. Is it a shame that I address him that way? Anywho. Went to the Longs and then grandma told me about a frozen yogurt place, and I was enamored. HeavenLy's. A character name waiting to happen (I've already started planning her). Kaiser followed by a pointless trip to my mom's brought us home. And now I'm waiting to hear news about going to the movie's from my friend. ...I REALLY WANNA GO!!

Oh My Gosh

I am so in love. Seriously, I haven't got off my Star Trek high. I'm even going to Burger King today just to get a Spock glass. And while I have a touch more affection for the characterization in TOS, I am enamored with Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine, as their characters and themselves.

I was hunting down TOS Spock x Uhura scenes, but I stumbled upon an interview of the handsome duo. Hot dang. I fell in love. If I ever acticely pursue romance, I'm going to aspire to someone like either of them. A most improbable hope and thus, perhaps an illogical pursuit, but one I shall endeavor too. ...That was a good impersonation, wasn't it? So yeah, I ended up watching a couple of videos, but not in their entirety. And maybe I can find more. Or one of Zach and Zoe. That would be interesting. He mentioned knowing her before too, but are they as close as him and Chris? I kind of doubt it, but hot and interesting all the same. Anyways. Point in case. Love. Finish the videos. Hopefully hunt down more SpockUra fics (and vids?).

I was also hunting down a lot of novels. I hope I find a number of good ones. And finally, W.I.T.C.H was updated. It was pretty darn awesome. Though never felt so bad for Will, but also very proud. You go Will! ♥
...Now just gotta wait for my One Piece.

It is highly logical

That Star Trek is one of the best movies ever. I remember enjoying it quite a bit as a kid, and even loving it at one point in time, but it's been a while. And in early HS years, TOS stroked my curiousity, but it died. But now, the movie has done it for me. it doesn't help that I've had this space-sci fi-mecha craving lately. Even though there was no mecha, it was still so amazing. And loved the SpockxUhura through and through. My mind is now rampant with ideas and I'm eager to draw them out later too. Alongside finals stuff I need to work on.

Otherwise, I did quite a bit of doodling recently. And while they have a number of obvious problems, I'm proud. I hope I can keep it up ♥. And hopefully, I can get art, graphics and writing practice in. Hopefully a lot during summer. And fnishing my games... Things are nice now. Not all is perfect, but I really liked today and most of yesterday (that I can remember at least). I hope things stay this way.

I have nothing else to say, but if I do, I guess I'll just update ♥.

I had almost forgotten, Spock has got me hooked on the whole 'highly (il)logical/the probability' and all that
'blah blah, smart talk science!'. I love my inner nerd. And I wish I had more nerd friends ;o;.

NEVER FORGET!!

I'm putting it here so I don't forget. It's important to think sharply about my future.

It's smart and not a bad idea to go abroad for a while to save up money, and maybe do some research on the side.

It wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on gamasutra, to continue researching and working hard and also developing and practicing.

It's not too much to pursue my dream. An English major is versatile. I want to focus on creative/fictional writing, so I had better understand the media and my audience better. Look at more children's books, etc. Look into it, the courses and just go for it.

Don't forget. Work hard. Persevere. Don't give up.

Intensity

We just watched Changeling. It was a beautiful but kind of frightening watch. I feel some parts of it were fairly terrifying even. And the reality of it really scared me. What Christine suffered and the fact that her child may have died or simply was never found was truly heart-breaking, but I'm so thankful she was given justice and that it was served, and at least one couple got their child back (I hope they did in reality). Today has been a mildly slow but peaceful day, and it's weird with the semester ending. I'll probably never see or talk to some of my friends again, but hopefully I can make new ones.

Anyways, I have nothing to say now, excite that I excited for Heart Gold/Silver Soul. I'll update again later, and I need to reserve quite a number of games ♥. A wonderful weekend and upcoming week to all.

Die a Christian?

I just had a breakdown in the shower. I don't know if I ever have before, but with everything that just went on, I suppose it's justified. Nearing my period and arguing with the sperm donor as usual. My mom wanted to talk to him as always, and as always, he just irks my nerves. But I guess I did say too much this time, but in a way, I'm very pleased I did. I almost had it calculated that way. Spill everything about my aunt to him, who's big ass mouth just spreads everything and will go back to her. I kind of hope she confronts me, because it'll be her trying to talk for once instead of avoiding everyone and running away from Tay trying to talk to her. But that's what brought on the breakdown.

The first thing I did when we got home was hop in shower, and only two or five minutes in I think things over and start crying. I started to, because I didn't want to be weak and shameful and I have to keep it together so grandpa can be proud. But then I realized how selfish that was. Grandpa valued family, but I'm already losing hope in, selfishly closing it off and devaluing it. He told me to be me, but I'm not really about those things either. I thought I'm just as disgusting if not worse. But then, I remembered he did tell me to be me. And I'm not sure what 'me' grandpa knew, but I am resourceful, well-meaning and clever when I need to be. And I fix things I make a mess of (most of the time). So if something happens, I decided I have to fix it. I went from choking, sobbing, suffocating and unable to properly wash to hocking up my spit and a determined face. Not only am I impressed with myself, but I'm proud. My resolve and thinking. My memory really. I need to be me all the way through, no matter who that is. There are so many details always changing, but I mostly know who I am inside.

But for a while there, I also thought, 'did grandpa ever think he would die a Jehovah's Witness?'. Even his memorial/ceremony was like that. And I thought, 'am I going to die a Christian?'. In the shower, I thought 'are ou punishing me or testing me God?'. When grandpa died, I thought God had betrayed me, but those are selfish thoughts too. I also realized how attached I am to God, but it's natural for me to be open, accepting and even adopting of other religious beliefs and science. I hate churches (the ones I know) and don't trust the Bible for squat. I don't know what God's truth is. I don't even know for sure if God is real, but I believe it through and through. I wonder and doubt, but I hope and feel he is.

I do and don't have any answers anymore. But maybe those things don't matter? I really needed to vent, and I ended up putting and thinking way more than I thought I would. But now I just have to contact and fill in my cousin and apologize. And continue on. I still have a while til the semester is actually over, after all.

I hope and prayer everything goes well. Now that I think about it... my first thought that brought on the tears really was, I lost two people with one. 'I'll never have my auntie or grandpa back.' But she's still alive, so I have to try.

Translation? Uh, no thanks.

I hate how all these people are acting like whatever Biden and Obama say needs to be translated. Uh no, it doesn't. When Biden was talking about the safety, etc he knew what he was saying and talking about. That lady didn't need to go and reword everything he said. And the news trying to rephrase what Obama said he wanted for the next judge was unnecessary too. It was in plain English and a very noble, intelligible thing to say. They try and do things for the public, and everyone tries to screw it up. And I'm sick of folks trying to compare Michelle and Mrs. Kennedy, and trying to put her all over the place now too. It's not cute. If they're that dissatisfied that our First lady has no weakpoints, just look for a new target. One that actually had points that need to be hit and looked at.

In other, unimportant news, I finally beat Mitsuo's shadow. But I've been saying 'I beat the baby', so my family has been giving me weird looks. But I don't blame them. But I'm just enjoying Persona so much. Especially Nanako-chan and Dojima, and increasingly Teddie. I'm even falling in love with Yosuke and Kanji more. I can't wait for the next Persona that bares semblance to 4 (and 3). There are also quite a few other games I'm anxious for, but I'm being a patient kiddy.

And loving Basquash more and more, and very pleased to see others enjoying it and the bloggers (one at least) realizing the show for what it is and enjoying it more for that. I also kind of think bad of people's views now. I feel like so many people (especially the ones I know) are so close-minded. Like, they can't step outside their littles boxes and just enjoy things. And they buy into hyped, cliche things so easily. Or things that are cutesy and 'bland'. But I do too in my own ways, but I feel so conformist in ways. I guess there's a lot going through my head lately.

I've also finally finished one of my MUFHL papers, and now I just have to finish Clara and also start my ANTH paper. One (or even both) of which I intend to do very soon.

And while I've gotten into the art and fashion thing again, more so than usual, I haven't been able to bring myself to draw. But graphics are coming along nicely. And so is RPing... kind of. It's very one-sided actually. Hard to explain. I don't think I'll ever find a partner who can agree with on most levels (agree to disagree at least) and simply enjoy. And I realize how needy and wanty guys are. I thought the guys kind of didn't care, but they're really into the harem thing (and one of them even thought 1x1 is all about smut). I feel so dishearted TTuTT'.

Haha, my blog is probably the most pointless one ever. Well, I guess I'll go back to enjoying my Perfume and Momo-i. And waiting for the next Secret Sats. More Storm Hawks, please? (Come on, a whole new world and that's really the end?)