Wow

That's kind of all that can be said. I think I'm about 20 chapters away from being entirely caught on Neuro, and I gotta say, the last thing that felt nearly as close to genuinely epic and astounding to me was One Piece, and I think this surpasses it on a certain scale. I got so into it, I read a few spoilers and I'm a bit heartbroken, but hopeful (but I'll probably just be heartbroken in the end). I'm so anxious to see how things will go. For One Piece and Neuro, it feels like "wow, this could be the turning point. It could end soon!" But then Oda and Matsuei-sensei just do these amazing things and it's clear that it's going for a longer run, but that makes me excited and happy. And it kind of makes me want to get into this kind of field more. Where I can lay out a story and take people across all kinds of thoughts and emotions, but then I also see how simple my thoughts are. I think perhaps I rely too much on inspiration, but now I have a different kind. The inspiration to find my own way and style.

Well, I'm going to be ecstatic for as long as these manga keep up, and there are other manga which I was never ended. Even Berserk, I'm anxious for the ending but I fear for it. But I hope it never will end. I think Neuro Nougami, Berserk and One Piece are perfect manga. The shallow feeling of forced story and everything else presented in Naruto, Bleach and even KHR lately leaves me empty. I want a story that lets me truly connect, that shows me a world and that is always evolving and maybe changing, yet staying the same. I hope more manga like this will pop up. And I hope I can see the same in games too. Mario, Zelda and even Sonic in its own way. Mario from the early days (especially 64) and even to Galaxy is Mario. There may have been major changes in gameplay between Ocarina and Majora, and even style in Wind Waker, but they all had the key elements of character and puzzle. And Sonic, although it's changed so much and been through so many ups and downs, it doesn't run from the main point of the character, Sonic is always fast and free, no matter what the adventure.

I'm also happy with myself, the more I read, see and think, I feel I'm appreciating myself and my answers and finding me. It's hard to come to terms with death, but I hope to make my grandpa proud as he watches me change and evolve as a person, even if I can't share it with him directly. And I hope that I can make the best of these moments I have with everyone beside, and that these moments will last a signifcantly greater time.

More than anything right now, I want to live peacefully with the people beside me and find my way. Lets hope I can C:.

Makin a list so I can buy em all later. I want my childhood back.

+ Power Puff Girls
+ Dexter's Lab
+ Captain Planet
+ Samurai Jack
+ Hey Arnold
+ Pepper Ann
+ Ginger
+ Rocko's Modern Life
+ Rugrats
+ Ahh! Real Monsters
+ Rolie Polie Olie
+ Bananas in Pajamas
+ Angry Beavers

I will update this every time I remember.

My Childhood

I miss it too much. And all the good cartoons, I want them back! I'm gonna make a list of them so I can buy them all when I remember them.

+ Captain Planet

+ Rugrats

+ Dexter's Lab

+ PowerPuff Girls

+ Rolie Polie Olie

+ Ren and Stimpy

+ Ahh! Real Monsters

+ Angry Beavers

+ Hey Arnold

+ Bananas in Pajamas

+ Cow & Chicken

+ Ginger

+ Beetle Juice

+ Batman TAS (& Beyond!)

+ Beast Wars

edit

I've decided it wouldn't be so bad to go ahead and list the games and anime/manga that I've cherished for so long too, especially since I grew up with them. More so than cartoons even in some ways.

Video games

-- Sonic the Hedgehog [ My first game! Always one of if not my top fav.]

-- Gunstar Heroes [ It was so difficult but amazing to me. ]

-- Mario [Came quite a bit later, but I found it through friends and had great memories.]

-- Thousand Arms [ My first (and only for a while) Playstation game. And first (real?) RPG. Always in my heart.]

-- Ape Escape [ One of my other earliest PS games, and most cherished.]

-- Pokemon [ Almost forgot somehow. But man, did I ever grow up with PKMN and have some amazing, beautiful memories.]

-- Kirby [ My first was Crystal Shards, and I think it'll always be one of my fav in the series.]

-- Rhapsody [ I remember going over this with Anna. That was classic. ]

-- Tomba [ I could never stop playing the demo and wishing for more, and never got sick of 2.]

-- Harvest Moon [ I think it was my first 64 game. I adored it and still do.]

-- Zelda [ I remember moments in (and outside) of class talking about Zelda (and PKMN). OoT, I love chuu.]

Anime/Manga

-- BSSM [ One of my first anime, and first I followed. I remember the manga in Mixxine too.]

-- MKR [ When I got that Mixx and saw MKR, I fell in love.]

-- DBZ [ We always adored DBZ, well, me Antonio Jeanette and Natasha. I still adore it and Toriyama.]

-- Pokemon [ Reptitive, but we did talk about it as much as the game w/as many memories.]

-- Cowboy Bebop [ I scorned it for so long, but finally fell in love. In what though, like MS!?]

-- Tenchi [ One of my very first anime, and one I'll always be charmed by. Ah, Tenchi.]

-- YYH [ Not as early, but still significant. It's up there with the others.]

-- El Hazard [Because I loved watching more than FY and as much as Tenchi.]

-- Irr. Capt. Tylor [ Oh man! One of the first anime I watched, on IC especially. I love it!]

-- Gundam Wing [I tried to resist putting on here, but I couldn't. Pretty boys win.]

-- Giant Robo [I always watched the same and only vol.(s?) my uncle ever had. It was so tragic...]

-- CCS [ When it first came out, I didn't care much for it, but then I obviously fell in love.]

-- Digimon. [ Oh man, there was kid controversy over that, but lots o' love too.]

-- Monster Rancher [Oh, I was so in love! And still am!]

-- Escaflowne [ That was like, the beginning of anime drama for us, and we loved it.]

-- Shinzo [ I was one of the only ones to watch it, but I adored it nonetheless.]

-- Medabots [ It was classic and awesome to us, and still is to me.]

-- Mon Colle Knights [ Our fandom over it was shameful, but it was pretty darn epic!]

Everyday like a Dream

Watching the BET Honor Awards, I realized a few things about the world, some things I recall thinking from time to time. It seems lately, like everday is living a dream. The world has gone so many places and so many beautiful changes have been made. America has a man who's very existence is fairly revolutionary, and the world is taking turns to improve itself.

But there are times and things that make it so scary. Like we're living a nightmare. The economy, war, the very conditions some countries are still in. It's devastating and frightening, but we still have such great things in the world, although the nightmares become overwhelming.

After all, there are bound to be shadows where there is light. But are shadows really that bad?

Screw the Fried Chicken

I just posted, but this moment is significant too.

After the moment with Yosuke and MC/Shinobu headed home, I saw Nanako sitting to the side, but my expression needed to be higher to talk to her, but I already knew it'd be about death and her deceased mother (I assume, really). But I quickly dismissed it and trying to raise my expression because I didn't want to 'suffer more', even if that was a selfish thought. Instead I went to the kitchen and started on fried chicken for lunch (which was soggy, but flour is always used!).

Then I headed to the bathroom and a pincher happened to be on the floor, but it took a second to kill, and a second for so many thoughts to swarm in my head.
"Do I care about killing it? But it is one of God's creatures."
"Is there an afterlife? I don't really understand life."

There was a lot going on in my head for such a short time, but then I realized how ridiculous it was of me to not try and raise my expression. Since I saved right before the chicken I decided 'crew the chicken', and that if I had just cried over not having answers and knowing myself, I'm the one who has to change that and so I can't bitch at my own lack of action and resolve. I'm going to work hard on raising my expression to get Nanako closer to her answers and myself closer to my own.

Dear Me

I was going to talk about being addicted to Persona 4 and everything, but a scene just made me very emotional.
As Yosuke was talking about Saki-sempai, I felt really connected to that and thought of my grandpa. There's so much I haven't realized and a lot I've been struggling with, myself especially. I'm not entirely sure who I am or what I want, even with grandpa's advice, but I feel I owe it to him and myself to find me. And Nanako also makes me a bit emotional. Knowing that she (wants to) believe her mom is in Heaven makes me wish for Heaven simply for grandpa's sake.

There's a lot on my mind and things are getting harder, even on a global aspect, it kind of feels like the world is coming in on itself, and I can't even really think or say what it is I need to do, but for now, I just want to take things little steps at a time.
I kind of regret that no one is reading this or is going to comment, but I guess a part of me is okay with that too.
And I hope I can figure things out, and maybe Persona will help me reach the truth more.